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If you’re trying to wake me up in the morning, be prepared for a fight!
No, I’m not funny. I’m just really mean and everyone thinks I’m joking.
Don’t you know it’s rude to talk while I’m interrupting?
Missed a call* *Calls back* *No answer* “What, did you die within 3 seconds?”
Please don't make me think there's something when there's actually nothing.
The sole purpose of somebody’s middle name is so they can tell when they’re really in trouble.
Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. “Look at this b*tch, eating those damn crackers like they own the place!”
A wise man may look ridiculous in the company of fools.
I’m not fat. My stomach is just 3D.
That annoying moment when you realize someone else is using the pen you lost.
That awkward moment when you choke on water and it feels like you’re going to die.
Not having an amazing body, because lets face it, food is better.
KISSIN ON THE NECK IS A TURN ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seeing someone and pretending not to notice them
You mentally correct some people’s grammar as they speak.
I'm not stupid, I know whats going on. You're stupid to think i dont notice
